“I shouldn’t”

I was in a session with someone who said, “I would love to leave the house this Saturday to get some work done, but I shouldn’t.”

Notice what “should” does in that sentence. There’s a clear want, to leave the house, and then judgment lands right on top of it.

The language we use day-to-day matters. Say “I shouldn’t” enough times and the judgment just starts feeling like a natural part of your existence.

There may be a helpful reframe in “I would love to leave the house this Saturday to get some work done, but I don’t want to leave my kid home alone.”

Feels like a reasonable want to me!